In her recent book, Strong Ground, Brene Brown talks about "the tenacity of paradox," referring to the importance to hold the tension of two opposing ideas. Even though her book focuses on leadership, the shared insights seem to link fundamental concepts in our human lives.

For me, it is this paradox of living with grief, longing, sadness AND a calling for living life fully. My experience with despair has gradually expanded me: I can be with grief while also experiencing joy and gratitude. It is this co-existence of my emotions that gives me a sense of depth and richness. Yes, I am doing fine. AND, I miss my son more each day.

I would not have made it through the first months after my son passed without the support of others, from grief counselors to trauma therapists, grief support groups, and my close friends.

When I heard about Ubuntu for the first time, I immediately thought of my own deep-rooted desire for community connection. Nelson Mandela describes Ubuntu with, “…the profound sense that we are human only through the humanity of others; that if we are to accomplish anything in this world it will in equal measure be due to the work and achievement of others.”  In that sense, Ubuntu means that "I am because you are.”

Hi Alex,

Another Mother’s Day with you ‘over there’.

As I have done many times since you left this celestial planet Earth, I want to express my deepest gratitude: Alex, thank you for the biggest gift you have given me, MOTHERHOOD.

Since the heartbreaking and soul-shattering experience of your passing, my deeply felt sense of motherhood has expanded and intensified; every cell of my body seems saturated with ‘Mother’.

Staying engaged with my own wellbeing is as important to me as living a purposeful life. A life that is aligned with my son’s legacy as well as his struggles. And for that I am devoting time advocating for breaking the stigma about mental health and addiction, as well as building trauma-informed communities. All that keeps me connected with my son’s life and the struggles he had.

Just because cannabis is going mainstream does not mean it is a good thing. We only have to look at alcohol or tobacco. Children look to their parents for guidance. I believe that our culture has taken a position of convenience when it comes to substance use of any kind. We want things “fixed” because our lives don’t seem to allow otherwise. Instead, there is so much we can do to reclaim our very own innate powers to heal and help re-regulate our emotional ups and downs, from mindfulness practices, therapies, and other healthy lifestyle changes. So much is about sitting in the driver’s seat again and depending less on drugs.